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Is failing an exam end of your life?

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A great sense of humiliation and expression of self-defeat can come from failing an important exam. Yet every year when candidates sit national examinations, a substantial number of them do fail to get the required grade that is considered as a pass. So does that mark the end of their life? ESTHER KIRAGU examines this scenario.

 Last month’s release of the 2013 Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education (KCSE) results drew mixed feelings from different candidates, schools and parents in throughout the country. While some were in jubilant celebrations, others mourned, cried and quietly reflected on their poor performance. But such is life.

While releasing the KCSE results, the cabinet secretary for education, Professor Jacob Kaimenyi, said that the percentage of candidates who scored C+ and above, qualifying for entry into public universities was 27 per cent. This means 73 per cent of the candidates who sat KCSE in 2013 failed to get the required grade that is considered good enough to get you to university. The question that begs is whether the life of these candidates is doomed, especially since they don’t qualify for higher education.

Sometimes it can be very difficult to predict the outcome of an exam as several factors come into play when addressing the exam results of a student. Arguably, exams are one of the most feared things in education by students. Whether a student is confident in their abilities in their chosen subject or not, exams can often both predictably and unpredictably bring out the best, and more than often, the worst, in a student.

 Grading students academically…

Somehow society seems to have painted an image that portrays that success in academics equals success in life and vice versa. Consequently when a student fails an exam then they feel like as if their life is completely doomed. It is no wonder that there are many cases that have been reported, and others that go unreported of students who take their life, feeling that death is the only option when they fail an exam. Many others go through depression, have dark thoughts, or hurt themselves, feel helpless, lost and alone. Truth is an exam isn’t worth your life.

It’s therefore important to learn how to deal with the situation without resorting to criticism or rebuking yourself. Learning how to handle failure helps in the learning process and leads to a better quality of life. The only real failure in life is to give up too soon. Everyone makes mistakes and many times failure can be linked to our success. Infact, many great and distinguished icons in society have used their failures as a stepping-stone to success.

 

Several stories are told of successful world leaders who once failed but used their failure to steer them in success. Late Steve Jobs who helped create the personal computer and built Apple into one of the world’s most valuable companies, was once fired from the company. The late Nelson Mandela who was a South African anti-apartheid revolutionary, politician, and philanthropist and the first black president of South Africa, spent 27 years in prison. Abraham Lincoln once failed in business, had a nervous breakdown, and was defeated in eight elections before eventually becoming the president of the US. If you ask me, these world leaders had every reason to give up but they didn’t and instead went on to leave a mark in the world.

So, is education important?

The importance of a good education can’ t be over emphasised, but good education is more than learning how to read, write and pass exams. Obviously, society puts a lot of emphasis on grades and use of academic qualifications to rank students’ abilities is common. This need not be the only tool of ranking a student’s ability. Education is aimed at equipping people with knowledge and skills to cope holistically in the society. Therefore, academic grading is as equally important as training young people on life skills and empowering them to identify their talents early, so they can polish, package and deliver them to the world. Testing students’ ability solely through examinations is not a fair way of presenting each student’s true capabilities.

Each person learns differently and equally each person demonstrates his or her knowledge differently. While some people excel in presenting their knowledge orally, others do extremely well in exam conditions. And others are just good in extra-curricular activities or hands-on skills; which should also be nurtured. Too much rests upon whether a student does, or does not, do well in their exams, which is somewhat unfair on those who would do equally as well but in a more practical approach.

Highly educated people are not any more important than skilled people since both form part of a comprehensive society. Every parent wants their child to succeed and as such many parents fall into the trap of demanding that their children perform academically well so as to fit into conventional jobs such as lawyers, doctors or teachers. Though they mean well, they at times push their children too hard to achieve academic success but they need to understand their children’s potential and not succumb to societal pressure.

John Kithaka a successful entrepreneur and parent says that a good education system is one that helps students identify their talents and purpose in life. “When we identify what our children are good at and nurture it, then we are likely to have a very happy society,” he says.

Most times unsuccessful candidates lack the motivation or determination to pick up themselves and continue trying. However, they can overcome this by focusing on their previous successes in exams, tests, and other challenges in life, and the strategies they used in those situations. This can serve as motivation that there is life after failing an exam.

Books are great, they are a great way to gain knowledge, and I personally must have a book in my handbag at all times. But not everyone shares this similar feeling. As long as one does the best they can, then it is good enough even if it isn’t an A grade. Of importance is what they do with their lives to become successful and fulfilled in a field of their choice.

Published on April 2014

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
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