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Are you ready for a relationship?

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Whether you have found that special someone and are considering long-term commitment or are in the search for the elusive Mr. or Ms. Right, consider these important factors to find out if you are indeed ready for a serious relationship.

Many people are in search of that special someone whom they can hopefully spend the rest of their lives with. While the need to be in a fulfilling relationship is only natural, it is vital to be emotionally prepared in order to form a healthy and mutually beneficial bond.  The preparedness being referred to here is based on several aspects that have a lot to do with the self. Here are a few questions to help you assess whether or not you are ready to be in a relationship.

How self-aware are you?

Do not expect another person to understand you if you lack even basic knowledge of who you are. Have an adequate awareness of yourself before you consider letting someone else into your life. What do you like or dislike? What do you stand for? What are your dreams and aspirations? What are your fears and insecurities? These are just a few pointers of aspects of yourself that you should, to a considerable extent, be aware of before considering a serious relationship.

Do you love yourself? 

Loving oneself does not have to do with an undue sense of self-importance or egotism. It simply means being aware of your self-worth and possessing a healthy self-esteem. This also includes an objective view of your strengths and weaknesses and a commitment to self-improvement. When you don’t love yourself, you, more often than not, tie your sense of self-worth to someone else and become dependent on his or her feelings about you. This puts you in a vulnerable position for exploitation by another. Learn to love yourself and develop a healthy sense of self-esteem before letting someone else love you.

Can you be happy alone? 

If you find that your sense of happiness depends on someone else, you may not be ready for a serious relationship. You have to strike a balance between time spent with others and alone time. Please note that alone time does not refer to time spent waiting or commuting, or hours spent on mindless TV-watching or surfing the Internet. Deliberate time spent on self-reflection enables you to build mental and emotional self-reliance and be your own person. The ability to be happy alone is a requirement for a good relationship and will enable you to maintain a stable relationship.

 Have you let go of past hurts? 

If you are fresh out of another relationship, this is definitely not the time for you to be seeking a new relationship. This also applies if you are still hurting from a previous relationship, however long ago it ended. You need to give yourself adequate time to heal in order to be able to handle a new relationship. Avoid rebound relationships. While they may seem to numb the pain of a break up, they may prolong your healing process. In addition, free yourself of bitterness and letting the past control you by forgiving people in your past that may have hurt you. This will allow you to embrace and experience your new relationship fully.

 Can you put someone else’s needs before yours? 

Romantic relationships demand a certain level of selflessness that will, in many instances, require you to put someone else’s needs or the relationship’s needs before your own. Are you ready to do this? Selfishness, usually stemming from immaturity, will prevent you from loving unconditionally, loving only when it suits you or when the relationship is going smoothly. If this is an area of weakness for you, it will be in your best interest to work on it before seeking a relationship.

 So, if you are thinking about getting back into the dating game, have a candid self-examination and prepare yourself before getting into it.

Published in September 2013

 

 

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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