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A Second Chance to Love

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Patrick Ndirangu, 31, a research and development consultant and Pauline Esther, 29, a student welfare officer, met at a time when a relationship was the furthest thing from Patrick’s mind. Having just lost his wife of six months who fell sick one morning and passed away, he was only focused on dealing with his grief and moving on. However, a friendship with Pauline led to unexpected love and the rest, as they say, is history. The couple shares their beautiful love story with ESTHER KIRAGU.

 Patrick Ndirangu and Pauline Esther first met in June 2010. “I had visited the Marketing Society of Kenya (MSK) offices in Nakuru to make an enquiry on behalf of a friend when I met Pauline. She attended to me and gave me a business card to call her in case I had more queries,” he explains. Thereafter, Patrick made several follow-up visits and would pass by Pauline’s office just to say hello once in a while. The two started communicating regularly through phone calls but shortly afterwards Pauline went quiet.

“An acquaintance informed me that Patrick was a widower and I was shocked because he hadn’t told me about it at the time. I didn’t know if this was true or even how to relate with him anymore, and so I went quiet. However, not long after, I decided to meet with him and hear his side of the story,” Pauline says, adding that after his explanation, the two resolved to be friends.

They constantly kept in touch, often meeting for coffee dates in the evenings and going for outings and soon their friendship blossomed. “It was great to have a friend because most people didn’t know how to relate with me anymore. They often isolated me,” he says adding that Pauline introduced him to her cousins and they became his newfound friends.

Dating and courtship…

On January 1, 2011 he took Pauline out to celebrate the New Year and it was then that he asked her to be his girlfriend.

“I was apprehensive about getting into a relationship with him, because I was afraid of what people would say about me,” she explains. Patrick decided to give her as much time as she would need, although they kept in touch often and also spent time alone as well as in the company of their friends.

It took Pauline nearly a whole year to get comfortable with the idea of dating Patrick. By this time they had grown even closer. “We constantly communicated about our expectations of each other and also prayed about the relationship and when I was ready we began dating,” she says.

Patrick says that society often stigmatises widows and widowers by judging them and dictating when they should remarry. “Every person is unique,” he says, adding that some people may take a year, others two years and others even ten years before they decide to remarry.

Surprise proposal and wedding…

Patrick proposed to Pauline on May 5, 2012 over dinner. An elated Pauline said yes to him and called her friends and family to inform them of the good news. Family introductions were made and the two families got to know each other officially.

They had their traditional dowry ceremony, also known as Ruracio in Kikuyu, in early August 2012. “We thank God for his favour because our families were very understanding. They allowed us to make just one visit so as to formalise everything at once before the wedding,” says the grateful couple.

The couple put together a wedding committee made up of close friends and relatives to help plan the wedding. Despite a few hitches on the wedding day with some of their service providers, their friends and family saved the day, leading to a beautiful purple and yellow-themed wedding on December 8, 2012 at ACK St. Paul’s Normain in Nakuru, followed by a reception at Imani Guest House also in Nakuru. Their wedding cost Ksh 450,000 and was financed through personal savings, a tea party and contributions from friends and family.

The couple went to Ol Pejeta in Samburu for their honeymoon. We wish them God’s blessings in their union.

Photography by Dawaf Image solutions, Nakuru.

Published on September 2013

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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