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Take God out of your box

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We recently buried a friend, a young man in his early thirties with a young family – a wife and two children. The firstborn will join primary school next year. The wife, barely in her 30s, is now a widow. How?

The question that repeatedly bothered me from the time I heard the news of my friend’s death was: “How? How could God allow such a young man to die when everyone thought his life was just beginning? How could he let such young children grow without their father? And how could a good and loving God allow death to snatch a husband from a young woman whose dreams about a beautiful future with her husband were just taking shape?

I must confess that instances like these almost always take me back to the question of the existence of a loving and all-powerful, an all-knowing God. But when I went to condole the widow, I found myself telling her: “God has a good reason even when bad things happen.” I also told her: “God will use your loss to lead you into greater and better things gain.” I confess I did not understand my own words; they sounded unreal, yet so true given that I have faith in God who cannot bring this widow this far only to destroy her.

In my father’s house there is a postcard that was sent to dad by a friend during one of his most trying moments. It has these words: “God permits evil in order to transform it into greater good.” Every time any of his children call or go to see him over a teething issue, he always points to that card, which hangs in the living room.

The point is; God’s ways are not our ways. What we call “bad news” is not necessarily such in God’s eyes. Like the death of a young man, woman or child may not be bad news to God. We do not, and we will never understand God’s ways. That is the mystery that separates man from God. For to understand the ways of God would require us to be omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient – and that would mean we are also God. We are not and we shall never be.

Brethren, so many bad things happen to us. We lose a job we so much depended on; we do not get shortlisted for a job we wanted so badly; we are conned into purchasing grabbed land or a stolen motor vehicle; we get involved in fatal accidents or suffer terminal ailments. Our loved ones fall ill and sometimes die. We all have an idea of how we would want things to be. I need that job; I can’t afford to fall ill now; I desperately need that particular piece of land. And so we pray to God asking him to do what He should to give us these things.  We pray not that “Your will” be done, but that “my will” be done.

US televangelist Joel Osteen warns us that “just because it is logical doesn’t mean it is God’s way.” He says again “if you are narrow minded you can miss God’s best.” His advice is that we should take God out of our box. God is unconventional; he does not do things according to human or worldly logic. His logic is not our logic. But, and this is the most important thing to note, He always acts for our own good. For “His plans are for good not evil.”

No matter what we are going through, no matter the temptations before you and the turbulence in your life, go on your knees and surrender to God’s will. Tell God that the road ahead is difficult, and that you won’t spend any more time thinking about how things ought to be but instead wait upon Him to deliver you to the Promised Land.

I mean, this is the same God who used a prostitute, Rahab, to save the people of God; the same one who used a donkey to talk to a prophet; the same God who put Jonah in a fish to transport him to Nineveh; He made a virgin give birth and resurrected Lazarus from Death. He is God. He can do whatever He wants to do and how he wants to do it.

God’s plans for us are always good but they may be different from ours. God is the potter and we are the clay. We should let God do unto us and for us according to His will. He will not let you down. He has not brought you this far to destroy you. Just trust in Him and do not even try to understand how He will do it for you. Like the blind man Jesus healed, be ready to exclaim when your miracle comes: “I don’t know how he did it; all I know is that I was blind and now I see.” (John 9:25)

By Christopher Maina

Published in October 2013

 

 

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
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