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WANT A BABY? Get your timing right

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It takes more than just making love to make a baby. If you are planning on having a baby in this brand new year, here are a few things you need to know.

Figure out when you are most fertile. Normally, a woman’s fertile period lasts six days: the five days leading to, and the day of ovulation – the time of the month, about midway between menstrual cycles, when an egg is released from a woman’s ovaries. So conceiving can be as simple as good timing if there are no underlying medical conditions.

In most cases, the likelihood of pregnancy is about 36 percent if intercourse occurs two days before or on the day of ovulation and decreases to 10 percent if it occurs four to six days before.

Since sperm can live up to five days, even ‘old’ sperm can fertilize an egg, although it is not so likely. Every month, you have a fertile window, which covers about six days. The best time to make love for conception is one or two days before you ovulate and timing your lovemaking to the exact point of ovulation is not necessary.

There are a few ways to time sex to correspond with when you ovulate. One method is to have sexual intercourse every other day between days 10 and 18 of your cycle (counting the first day of your period as day one), since this is when ovulation typically occurs.

You can also detect ovulation by looking out for changes in your cervical mucus, the fluid normally released from your vagina. At the start of the menstrual cycle, this mucus is sparse and dense, but around the time of ovulation it becomes increasingly plentiful and slippery, with qualities very similar to the white raw of an egg. This increase in vaginal discharge is a good sign that you could be ovulating.

Some women are able to tell when they are ovulating by physical symptoms that may include breast tenderness, abdominal discomfort or slight cramping and changes in the position of the cervix.

Home ovulation kits, which involve taking your temperature every morning, are much more precise than the old basal body temperature (BBT) method. And unlike the BBT method, your temperature predictor kit gives you advance notice of roughly a day to a day and a half. During ovulation, your temperature will be higher than normal. However, many experts feel couples should not rush out to buy these kits.

Another telltale sign that you could be ovulating is a greater urge to have sex. If you are conscious of your body, this also could alert you that baby making time is ripe.

Do not get anxious. It is often better to simply make love slightly before the time you think you might be ovulating and let the whole project be relaxed for the first months. If you have got to the point where you are anxious about your ability to conceive, it is time to see a doctor, who will tell you if, when, and how you need to begin testing for ovulation.

It has been long believed that a man should abstain from sex for several days prior to his wife’s fertile take time to ‘build up’ his sperm count. Part of this presumption is true as studies have shown that the more frequently a man ejaculates over a period of several days, the lower his sperm count. Although your partner’s sperm count may drop the more often he has intercourse, it is still high enough to achieve fertilisation.

In fact, some studies show that the more sex you have, the greater your chances of conceiving. However, couples that make love weekly reduce their chances of conception to 10 percent per cycle, since they are more likely to miss the key baby-making window.

As a general caution, if planning your sex life around the calendar is causing you stress, which can decrease fertility and take the fun out of lovemaking, do away with it and have sex regularly. Having sex two to three times every week, and once a day around ovulation, is the most effective way to maximise your chances of conceiving.

Published in the January 2012 issue of Parents Magazine

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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