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Give yourself a relationship audit

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It’s easy to drift into settling for whatever is going on in your love life, whether you are in a long-term relationship or single or in a mediocre partnership. If you want to find happiness, don’t accept to be in an unsatisfactory relationship. Do something about it now.

It’s easy to drift into settling for whatever is going on in your love life, whether you are in a long-term relationship or single or in a mediocre partnership. If you want to find happiness, don’t accept to be in an unsatisfactory relationship. Do something about it now.

To start evaluating your relationship, ask yourself the following three questions: 1) Am I truly content as I am? 2) Does my relationship situation nourish me and boost my confidence? 3) Do I feel stimulated, content and stable?

Your answers to these questions will review the state of your love life. Even the most solid relationships have different phases, and you don’t necessarily need to panic if things have been a bit stale for a while – or you haven’t had a date in months. Ask yourself these questions every so often and give yourself honest answers so you can stay aware of how things are. Once you have done a self-evaluation, try these tips to keep your love life focussed:

See yourself as a lover. You don’t have to wait for a partner to make you happy, even when you are in a good relationship. When you feel like your love life needs a boost, treat yourself to a gorgeous pampering in the spa, take time to do your makeup, buy yourself a gift, and put on your favourite outfit.  Being happy with how you look is an instant confidence boost.

Try something different. If you are single and looking, don’t sit in your apartment waiting for a knock on the door. It will not happen. Sign up for things you have never done before to keep yourself busy and open yourself to meeting new people, for example, a course you’ve never done before such as dancing or painting. Or join the gym or a walking group. If you are a couple, go on a date with a difference, for example, camping or picnicking or join an activity such as dancing – salsa is excellent for couples. A new experience is great for opening you up to new possibilities.

Talk it over. If things are really bothering you, get them out into the open. Sit down with your partner and raise your concerns. Don’t accuse, and make sure you listen to your partner’s response. Don’t bottle up your feelings because it only goes to sour the relationship. Relationship counselling can help if you are not getting anywhere. If you are reluctantly single, a therapist could help you unpack the blocks that may be stopping you from finding someone.

Discover your life’s purpose…

You are the one and only you. Only you can make the contribution you came here on earth to make. Your combination of special talents is unique and irreplaceable. You have come for a special purpose – to fulfill your life’s work. Have you discovered your life’s work? The feelings that come with fulfilling your life’s purpose include: aliveness, high energy, high self-esteem, harmony, interest, enjoyment and satisfaction. You will know if you are not doing your life’s work because you will feel dissatisfied, incomplete, low in self-esteem, low in energy, and generally out of sorts. These feelings indicate that you have wandered from your path and you need to get back on course.

For the full story grab your April 2017 issue out now…

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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