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Fare Thee Well My Friend

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Caroline Wairimu Wanjihia (August 5, 1954 – February 26, 2017)

Sunday February 26, 2017 was a day I will never forget. As is normally the case on most Sunday afternoons after church, I was lounging in my garden with my family.

Then a text message came through – “Auntie where are you, can I call?” ‘At home and sure you can call,’ was my quick response. It took an hour for the call to come through and the news was devastating  – Caroline Wanjihia is dead!

“What, how, when, are you sure…?” were the many questions I asked amidst confusion and great sadness.

Caroline Wanjihia is amongst a group of friends I call ‘old friends’ – friends I met many years ago either in school, university, workplace or under other circumstances, and developed a very close bond, which has held to this day. Although we may not see each other often, we are real genuine friends who stand by each other.

Caroline and I got married the same year (1979) and soon our paths crossed. We became close family friends and this bond was to be cemented further by the arrival of our children – her two daughters and one son, and my two sons and one daughter, who are almost of the same age. We brought them up together, supporting each other in all challenges that come with raising a young family.

We holidayed together, celebrated our children’s birthdays together, and watched over each other’s children when one was away.

Indeed, Caroline’s home was one of the very few I would let my children have a sleepover because I knew they were in safe hands.

And when the children grew, we walked those who are married through that journey together. I was her daughter’s (Nyawera) ‘mother’ at her wedding and she played a crucial role at both my sons’ weddings.

Caroline and I shared great moments together. The laughter and jokes at ‘viso’ cookouts in St. Andrews Turi where our children went to school; at the eight sisters group, also known as the ‘eating group’, where we met regularly to just eat, laugh and have a good time; during the many celebratory parties to mark milestones such as birthdays, anniversaries or other achievements.

I have many thoughtful gifts from Caroline – a jewellery box that stands on my dresser will daily remind me of my departed friend.

In this life, we get to know people in different ways. I knew Caroline as a beautiful woman; smart in every sense of the word; brilliant lawyer; fun-loving; committed to service (Rotary Club can attest to this); hard working; highly ambitious; fully committed to her children; one who valued family and friends; a woman who didn’t have the word failure in her vocabulary; a go-getter – when her eyes were cast on something, nothing would stop her.

Caroline always amazed me by the many ventures she undertook – only a woman with her guts would take such risks. She worked hard to achieve her dreams and her goals – she achieved many and those she didn’t now don’t matter.

But one thing I can say she achieved with high marks is raising up three great children – Nyawera Kibuka, Chihia Wanjihia and Nonnie Burbidge. In them and their children will forever live Caroline’s legacy.

My friend Caroline died suddenly as she was preparing to go for shopping. She collapsed in her house and was declared dead on arrival at the hospital. Cause of death – respiratory failure caused by a pulmonary thromboembolism.

Pulmonary embolism (PE), as described in Wikipendia, is a blockage of an artery to the lungs by a substance that has travelled from elsewhere in the body through the bloodstream. Symptoms of PE may include shortness of breath, chest pain particularly upon breathing in, and coughing up of blood.

Symptoms of a blood clot in the leg may also be present such as a red, warm, swollen and painful leg. About 90 per cent of embolisms are from the leg deep vein thrombosis (DVTs) or pelvic vein thrombosis. DVTs and pelvic vein thrombosis are at risk of dislodging and migrating to the lung circulation.

Together, DVT and PE are known as venous thromboembolism (VTE). About 15 per cent of all sudden deaths are attributed to PE.

The risk of blood clots is increased by cancer, prolonged bed rest, smoking, certain genetic conditions, pregnancy, obesity, oestrogen-containing hormonal contraception, and after some types of surgery.

Efforts to prevent PE include beginning to move as soon as possible after surgery, doing lower leg exercises during long periods of sitting, using pressure stockings when on long haul flights or when confined to a bed for long periods of time, and the use of blood thinner after some types of surgery.

If you notice pain or swelling in your leg or pain in the groin region, see a doctor immediately, as these are some of the noticeable signs of a blood clot.

As I try to move on without my friend, my only regret is that I never got to say goodbye. And I tried. On the Wednesday before her death, I drove to her house because I was missing her. She was not there and her phone was off.

I waited for some time then left, knowing I would see her that coming Saturday as she had planned an ‘itega’ for her four lovely grandchildren. But the function was cancelled two days before.

In everything we give thanks to God. I know Caroline is in a better place where the toils and tribulations of this life are over for her. God bless her family.

Published April 2017…

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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