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Marriage after two breakups

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28-year-old Andrew Mwendwa and 24-year-old musician Grace Kavesu had been acquaintances for a long time before they started dating. Whereas Andrew was sure they were headed to the altar from day one, it took Grace sometime, including two breakups, to understand that Andrew was the one for her. The couple narrated their love journey to HARRIET OGAYO.

Andrew Mwendwa asked Grace Kavesu to be his girlfriend just as she had joined university. The couple had known each other since childhood and this stood Andrew in good stead as Grace agreed to the relationship.

“I’d just joined Chuka University and was excited that someone had asked me to be their girlfriend. However, when I look back, I don’t think I was really aware what it took for a relationship to work,” says Grace.

Grace’s nonchalant approach to the relationship coupled with the long distance between them dealt a crushing blow to the fledgling courtship. Just a few days into her campus stay, Grace told Andrew that she didn’t think their relationship would work.

“Campus proved to be an unanticipated kettle of fish altogether. I met new people, had new experiences and soon started feeling like I had committed myself way too soon,” says Grace warily.

And so each went their separate ways but it wasn’t long before they got back together. Distance was still an issue. They found reprieve a year later when Grace transferred to Kenyatta University. Their relationship went on seemingly well.

However, three-and-a-half years into the relationship, Grace suggested they take another break as once more, she was unsure of her commitment to Andrew and matrimony.
Devastated, Andrew threw himself into his work to distract himself. He admits that moving on from Grace was an uphill task. Grace on the other hand went for dates but with poor results.

“Unbeknown to me, I was comparing my dates to Andrew and with good reason. He’s gentle and kind; some of the qualities that attracted me to him in the first place. I also sought God for direction during this time and the thought of being with Andrew gave me so much peace that I knew I had to get him back. In December 2015, I started reaching out to him via texts,” explains the musician.

But Andrew would have none of it. “I didn’t want anything to do with her but as fate would have it, I bumped into her one day as I was driving from a meeting. I toyed with the idea of ignoring her but eventually greeted her and even offered her a ride. That’s how we started talking again,” expounds Andrew, adding that around April 2016, when the air between them had thawed, he told Grace that if they ever got back together, it would be for keeps. She agreed.

Andrew proposed six months later as he didn’t want to take any chances. Grace was at the time a staff member at the youth church at Mamlaka Hill Chapel. With help from mutual friends and her colleagues, I made a video narrative of our love journey, which was disguised as an announcement to be broadcasted on the screens in the youth church.

While she was watching, I snuck up behind her and when it was over, got down on one knee and nervously asked her to marry me. She said yes,” the car sales and marketing executive reminisces.

With a budget of Ksh350,000 and 500 guests to grace their occasion, the couple exchanged their wedding vows at the Mamlaka Hill Chapel on April 21, 2017. The couple acknowledges that family and friends came through for them to make their day a success, as most of the services were either highly subsidised or free as gifts from friends and colleagues.

“Either way, we had purposed that even without money, the most important thing was to be joined before man and God. The rest are embellishments,” they conclude.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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