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My Struggle With Endometriosis – ESTHER KIMEMIA

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Esther Mbugua Kimemia, 27, an author, menstrual health advocate and founder of Yellow Endo Flower thought the painful periods she experienced while young were part of the normal monthly biological changes women go through. But the severe pain was caused by a disorder known as endometriosis. Esther chats with HENRY KAHARA on her decades-long struggle with the disorder.

As a little girl, Esther Kimemia looked forward to her menarche (the first occurrence of menstruation) as she had been told that was the day she would graduate from a young girl to a woman. According to Esther, she thus eagerly waited for the day. By the age of 12, her mother had already started preparing
her and she even started walking around with her period preparedness pack in her school bag.

So when she received her first period, she was excited. Little did she know that it was her induction to a journey that would change her life. “My period was red, innocent and irregular, nothing out of the norm for a teenage girl. The first few months after the menarche are usually peppered with irregularity as the body tries to figure out how to balance the surge of hormones,” she says. When Esther joined high school, the previously minimal discomfort became unbearingly painful. She tried to conceal it initially, but then it started disrupting her everyday life. She sought medical care from the school nurse. “The visits became the norm every time I had my period and the nurse routinely gave me paracetamol – a painkiller.

However, the regular monthly visits did not seem to raise any alarm. I had been told about the usual cramps that accompany periods, but what I was experiencing was not normal as it was extremely painful,” she points out. By the time she was joining university, the pain had increased and was now a cocktail of aches and discomfort. She was also dealing with more than just a painful period. “I had recurrent urinary tract and yeast infections yet I was not sexually active at the time. The pain was enough to make me limp. The left side of my abdomen would get so swollen and tender. It was also hotter than the rest of my body,” discloses Esther.

The pain during the whole cycle was intense, she could barely catch a breathe. After a few months, the doctor recommended her to visit a urologist to investigate the recurrent infections. Esther notes that she had her first investigative surgery in 2009 where she was diagnosed with chronic cystitis – a recurrent bladder infection. “I was put on medication but the pain didn’t budge. The doctor referred me to a gynecologist who saw me for a couple of months. Many ultrasounds later, he diagnosed me with endometriosis – a disorder in which tissue that normally lines the uterus grows outside the uterus.

I was then booked for my second surgery. The doctor went in and found endometriosis growths connecting my left ovary and large intestines. This explained the horrible constipation that I was
experiencing. I never thought that my cycle and bowel movements were related in any way,” narrates Esther. After the surgery, she was put on a hormonal treatment that stops periods and reduces oestrogen levels. “The side effects were horrendous. I got depressed and had menopausal symptoms. There was no lesser evil in this case, it was more of choosing your poison and dying slowly. When the drug wore off, my periods came back and so did the pain,” Esther recollects.

A few months later, she went back to the doctor and did an ultrasound where it was confirmed that she needed to go into theatre as the adhesions were back and her appendix had given way. “After the surgery, I caught a break for the rest of the year until I started developing cysts in my ovaries. As they grew, the pain would increase. They were so rampant that we had to do a cancer marker test,” she says.

Esther says that at the time, most people around her didn’t know what she was going through as she looked fine from the outside but she was slowly fading away in pain on the inside.“I once had a blood clot in my bladder that was excruciatingly painful, I remember peeing blood and crying tears,” says
Esther.

She adds that people kept telling her to have a baby for everything tobe okay. “But I personally felt at that time I needed my mother and not to be a mother,” she says adding the question of being a mother brought more insecurities and concerns to the forefront.

“What if I had difficulty conceiving a baby? What would happen then? After all, endometriosis is the third leading cause of infertility,” she poses, pointing out that those were some conversations that she needed to have with her potential spouse and she did. Esther got married in 2012 and the following year she was in and out of hospital seeking treatment for different kinds of cysts. In 2014, she was blessed with her first child and the second one came two years later.

It’s after she was blessed with her second child that she decided to change the narrative as more girls and women needed to know how crucial it is for them to understand their bodies and keep a period diary.

“A period is much more than an inconvenience. It is a monthly summary of what is going on within our bodies. The duration of flow and the colour of blood should be an indication of something bigger rather than an irritation,” she points out.

She thus founded Yellow Endo Flower, a non-governmental organisation meant to equip, empower and
encourage girls and women as they blossom and bloom. “Our aim is to demystify periods and discourage period shaming and to create awareness about endometriosis. We also support and encourage endo-warriors,” she offers.

Endometriosis affects one in 10 women. It is considered an invisible disease because you can’t see it, yet it is real. Many times women are told that the pain is all in their heads or that all women experience pain, but pain that disrupts ones life is not normal. Esther shares that there is no cure
for endometriosis. However, one can manage the symptoms. Diet and lifestyle changes can also help to reduce the pain, and inflammation levels.

“We need to talk about period cycles and keeping a period diary as passionately as we talk about availability of sanitary products. This way, more girls and women will know when to call out for help. My goal is to educate girls and women in every county in Kenya on period cycle and keeping a period
journal as this will help earlier diagnosis of menstrual disorders,” says Esther. To equip and empower girls to be able to flourish happily and in peace, Esther has written a book, Bloom, which is a practical guide for menstrual journey.

“I wrote Bloom to educate and equip other girls and women to understand their cycles and get in sync with their bodies,” reiterates Esther, adding that the book encourages girls and women to be present, take note of details, plot graphs to understand the bigger picture and learn to enjoy the various aspects of their cycle.

“Pain is the body’s way of crying out for help. Painful periods are not normal. You are your greatest advocate. Do not let anyone convince you that painful periods are normal. Take time to understand what a normal period is and then seek medical advice when you experience symptoms that deviate from
the list,” advises Esther. She concludes, “A rose doesn’t lose beauty because of it’s thorns. It blooms despite the thorns. The menstrual cycle should not hinder your life; if it does, seek medical advice.”

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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