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Where do you start after a breakup?

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Its over. Maybe you have been dating for years. Its has dawned on you, the relationship must come to an end. Each has to take his/her own path and start life afresh.

Yes it has happened, the question now is where do you go from here? And how do you figure out who you are and what you want as a newly single person? What is your new life going to look like, and how do you start moving in that direction? Are you going to date instantly or you need time to mourn, feel sad and cry? Letting go is never easy. Here are some of the things you can do.

Does age really matter in relationships and marriages?
Most of us will say yes, because age is often equated to one’s level of maturity. However, age should not matter in relationships. Here is why.

Take your time

Yes you have been heartbroken or dumped. But are you aware that out here there are so many guys who might be better and they are still single and searching?

Regardless of that fact, do not make the mistake of trying to rush things in an attempt to hurt your ex. We at times find ourselves starting a new relationship with a guy you don’t know well to prove to your ex that you have moved on. Take your time to mourn and re-organize your life.

7 signs you need relationship counselling
When is the right time to seek help?

Deal with your feelings

Letting go of what or who you loved is never easy. It’s common  for people to try sweeping these emotions and feelings under the table, but you have to work through them or they’ll negatively affect your life going forward.

People always try to play tough but the memories will always linger in their minds. You will at times find yourself lamenting and asking questions. But if you want to fully move on you have to deal with those feelings you have for that person. You can keep yourself busy by engaging in a healthy activity say a sport that you love and if its tough see a therapist.

3 ways poor communication can ruin your relationship
If the communication is poor, there will be a lot of conflict between the involved parties.

Love yourself more

After that breakup, you may be tempted to blame yourself for the failure of that relationship. You may also think that there must be something wrong with you.

However, refrain from blaming yourself and start taking care of yourself. Rediscover how to love yourself again – treat yourself and do those things that make you happy.  Make yourself the priority by doing all the things you have always wanted to do, buy yourself nice things and even go on that vacation. Do that manicure and pedicure or go for that massage. Because you will not be able to love someone else before you have learnt how to love yourself again.

Rediscover yourself

When you breakup with a loved one, there is a part of you that your ex leaves with and as a result, a gap is left in your heart or life.

Hence, it’s advisable that you take the time to discover who you were before you got into that relationship. Reconnect with the things that you cherished the most. Try and find new interests and hobbies.

This is also the time to work on yourself – your character, career and also your self-confidence.

Mistakes first-time lovers make in new relationships
There’s a first time for everything, including dating for the first time. Afterbeing single your whole life, you suddenly have to change your way of life andstart living as someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend. First relationships may notbe perfect or last forever, but they’ll probably remain in o…

Dare to be alone

Being single is not a horrible thing. Embrace your single-hood and make it worthwhile by working on yourself. Take this time to reorganize your life, work on your future goals and become a better version of yourself.

Featured image: Unsplash

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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