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Signs you are not ready to become a parent

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Siring or adopting your first child is a life changing event. The moment that kid takes his or her first breath, you’re suddenly thrust into an unpaid role of parenting. Being a parent comes with sacrifices and expenses. Before settling on becoming a parent, always ask yourself this question. “Am I ready for a baby?” Being a good parent needs preparations. You ought to be financially stable and also mentally ready.

Below are signs that you are not ready to become a parent:

You really want your freedom

Before you settle on parenthood make sure you travel the world, spend time with your spouse, get your education, and move up in your profession. Becoming a parent means forgoing some of the things you once enjoyed—at least for a while. This is to enable you to love, cherish and take care of your child. Nowadays children tend to grow up fast and once your child comes of age you will be able to resume your things with friends and colleagues.

So if you feel like you have a lot on your plate and are not ready to commit to parental obligations, you are probably not ready to be a parent.

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You aren’t saving money

Taking care of children is expensive. Due to the tough economic times, you’ll most likely find yourself not having any cash to save. It is advisable to save the little you get for the future. If you’re not ready to start making some major changes to your spending and saving habits, it’s a good sign that you’re not yet ready to have kids. After all, providing for your child’s basic needs, the frequent trips to the doctor, and even diapers can become a huge financial burden, especially if you’re not prepared for those added expenses. If you want to be able to take care of that kid save up some money before you sire him/her.

You hate seeking help

It is often said that it takes the village to raise a child. You need help and assistance from close family and friends. And if you have strict work conditions you will be forced to hire a nanny for your kid. However, if you find it hard to ask for a helping hand, you may not be ready to be a parent because you can’t do it alone.

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You travel a lot

If you want to have a child, you need some form of stability for their sake. This is because when your child is growing up, they need to interact with their peers when playing and establish long-lasting relationships. Your child needs you to be present. Therefore, if your work is very demanding and needs you to travel a lot, then you may not be ready for parenting.

You’re not ready to start cleaning up after someone

Children learn through exploring.  If you have a child in your house you will often find things scattered all over or messes in places you would not even imagine. Kids will play in the dirt without a care in the world, and you will clean in the morning only to come in the evening and find your house a total mess. You will most likely have to put in some work even if you have a housekeeper so it’s best to get comfortable with the idea before thinking of taking the parenting route.

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You often feel stressed

Siring a child comes with different needs like, time commitment to financial strain. If you often stressed about time, money or any other personal issue, it’s likely you’ll find yourself even more stressed out after the arrival of a new baby. Therefore, if there is something stressing you out, it’s best you first deal with it before you bring a child into the picture.

Bottom line

Becoming a parent is a task. If you are not financially stable and emotionally prepared, take time before becoming a parent. However, babies sometimes are unplanned for and it is therefore the parents’ responsibility to try and have proper systems in place to ensure that they are able to sufficiently take care of their kids.

Featured image: Unsplash

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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