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Do you know the signs of child abuse? 7 telltale signs

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Earlier this month, the United Nations General Assembly approved a resolution that established November 18 every year as a day to shine  spotlight on sexual exploitation and abuse of children.  As we observe the day today, here are a few ways to tell that your child is being abused.

Fear of the parent

Children are scared of many things but a parent should not be one of those things. If you notice that a child is always avoiding their parent and is scared most of the time. Try to dig deeper, the feared parent may be abusing the child.

Physical Scars and Injuries

The good book advises parents to never spare the rod if they want to raise a disciplined child. However, there is a difference between disciplining a child and abusing them. If you notice a child that always has scars and injuries that they don’t want to talk about, the child is most likely being abused by their parents and it’s important to take action.

SEE ALSO: CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE Have we failed our children?

Sudden Changes in Behavior

Some children suddenly start showing strange behavior due to the abuse they experience at home. For example, a child who was previously fluent in their speech may start stuttering. Other children may become withdrawn and sad while others may start wetting themselves. If you witness such a child, try to create a safe space where they can express themselves and find out what is happening in the home front.

Expressing Hatred for a parent

If a child tells you that they hate a parent, or you overhear them saying that to their friends, again establish a close relationship with the child and try to find out why they hate their parent. You may just discover that the child is being molested by their parent or caregiver at home.

A child that appears neglected

Neglect can show in different forms. For instance, it could be a sick child that is not receiving medical attention even though their parent has been informed, or a child who comes to school looking unkempt.

A reluctance to go home

While some kids may rush to go home once the school day is over, some kids will show a reluctance to leave the school. This may be them trying to escape the abuse they face at home.

SEE ALSO: 7 ways to protect your child from child traffickers

Signs of sexual abuse

Some children may exhibit signs of sexual abuse. For example, they may spot their clothes or have blood in their underwear. Other children will exhibit sexual behavior that is inappropriate for their age. Yet others may make inappropriate sexual jokes or outrightly tell you or their friends that they are being abused. All these signs should not be ignored.

To Wrap it up…

The age where children were the responsibility of the whole society is gone and individualism has crept deep into the core of parenting. Nevertheless, each one of us in the society has a responsibility to look out for the safety and well being of children. Teachers especially are well placed to identify any signs of abuse as they spend a lot of time with children.

Featured Image: Getty Images

This article was originally published in 2021

The exciting November issue of Parents magazine is here!

We catch up with Africa’s fastest man Ferdinand Omanyala Omurwa and his wife Laventa Omanyala as they open up on their marriage, careers and parenting journey.  You don’t want to miss!

 

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Cover Story

The joy of controlled freedom in parenting

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Parenting often revolves around setting boundaries and ensuring children follow rules. While discipline is essential, there is a hidden joy and power in saying “yes” to your child more often. Allowing controlled freedom can be a game-changer in fostering independence, confidence, and resilience in your child.

The Power of Yes

Saying “yes” doesn’t mean giving in to every whim or desire. Instead, it’s about choosing moments where your child can explore their world with freedom.

Whether it’s allowing them to choose their outfit for the day or letting them plan a family outing, these small moments of empowerment build self-esteem.

Building Confidence Through Freedom

Children thrive when they feel trusted. By saying “yes” to reasonable requests, you’re telling your child that you believe in their ability to make decisions.

This trust translates into confidence as they learn to navigate their choices, understanding the consequences and rewards that come with them.

Creating Safe Boundaries

While saying “yes” is powerful, it’s crucial to establish safe boundaries. These boundaries ensure that your child’s freedom doesn’t lead to harm.

For example, you might say, “Yes, you can play outside, but stay where I can see you.” This approach allows freedom within a safe framework, giving your child the space to grow while keeping them protected.

Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills

When you allow your child to make decisions, you’re also teaching them to solve problems. They learn to think critically about their choices, weighing options, and considering outcomes. This skill is invaluable, as it prepares them for real-world challenges.

The Lasting Impact

The simple act of saying “yes” more often can have a profound impact on your child’s development. It’s a way to show trust, build confidence, and encourage independence.

So next time your child asks for something, consider the power of “yes.” It might just be the best answer you give all day.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Cover Story

The joy of controlled freedom in parenting

Published

on

Parenting often revolves around setting boundaries and ensuring children follow rules. While discipline is essential, there is a hidden joy and power in saying “yes” to your child more often. Allowing controlled freedom can be a game-changer in fostering independence, confidence, and resilience in your child.

The Power of Yes

Saying “yes” doesn’t mean giving in to every whim or desire. Instead, it’s about choosing moments where your child can explore their world with freedom.

Whether it’s allowing them to choose their outfit for the day or letting them plan a family outing, these small moments of empowerment build self-esteem.

Building Confidence Through Freedom

Children thrive when they feel trusted. By saying “yes” to reasonable requests, you’re telling your child that you believe in their ability to make decisions.

This trust translates into confidence as they learn to navigate their choices, understanding the consequences and rewards that come with them.

Creating Safe Boundaries

While saying “yes” is powerful, it’s crucial to establish safe boundaries. These boundaries ensure that your child’s freedom doesn’t lead to harm.

For example, you might say, “Yes, you can play outside, but stay where I can see you.” This approach allows freedom within a safe framework, giving your child the space to grow while keeping them protected.

Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills

When you allow your child to make decisions, you’re also teaching them to solve problems. They learn to think critically about their choices, weighing options, and considering outcomes. This skill is invaluable, as it prepares them for real-world challenges.

The Lasting Impact

The simple act of saying “yes” more often can have a profound impact on your child’s development. It’s a way to show trust, build confidence, and encourage independence.

So next time your child asks for something, consider the power of “yes.” It might just be the best answer you give all day.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Lifestyle

Too Late for What? Finding Your Own Pace in a Fast-Paced World

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In today’s fast-paced world, success is no longer just an achievement; it has become a timeline. Many young people feel an invisible pressure to have their lives “figured out” before they turn 30, a stable job, financial independence, a clear career path, and in some cases, even marriage and children. But who set this deadline, and what happens to those who don’t meet it?

For many young adults, especially in urban settings, the pressure begins early. From school systems that prioritise academic excellence to families that celebrate early milestones, success is often framed as something that must be achieved quickly. Social media adds a layer of curated lifestyles of young entrepreneurs, influencers, and professionals who live what appears to be a perfect life. The comparison is constant and, for some, overwhelming.

Reality, however, is far less linear. Not everyone follows the same path. Some individuals take time to discover their passions, switch careers, or face setbacks that delay their progress. Yet, rather than being seen as part of growth, these delays are often viewed as failures. This perception can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and, in some cases, burnout as young people push themselves to meet expectations.

Parents play a significant role in shaping this narrative. While many have good intentions, wanting their children to succeed and be secure, the way success is communicated can sometimes add pressure. Saying things like “you need to be settled by now” or “your age mates are already ahead” can unintentionally create a sense of inadequacy. Instead of motivation, such statements may lead to fear-driven achievement.

Also Read: Parenting Progress for a Thoughtful Generation

It is also important to question what success truly means. For some, it is financial stability. For others, it may be personal fulfilment, career growth, or the ability to live independently. By narrowing success to a fixed timeline, society risks ignoring the diversity of individual journeys. A 28-year-old still exploring career options is not necessarily behind; they may be in a different phase of discovery.

Mental health is another critical factor often overlooked in this race. The pressure to be successful before 30 can lead to constant stress and comparison, making young people feel like they are always falling short. In extreme cases, this pressure can lead to depression or a sense of hopelessness, especially when achievements don’t come as quickly as expected.

So, what can parents and society do differently?

First, there is a need to define success beyond age. Success should be measured by growth, effort, and resilience, not just milestones achieved by a certain birthday. Encouragement should focus on progress rather than comparison. A child who is still figuring things out at 27 should be supported, not judged.

Second, open conversations are key. Parents should create safe spaces where children can talk about their struggles without fear of criticism. Understanding that life is not a straight path allows for more empathy and guidance rather than pressure.

Lastly, society must embrace the idea that everyone’s journey is different. Some people bloom early, others are late bloomers, and both are valid. Success is not a race with a fixed finish line, but a journey with many different routes.

Turning 30 should not feel like a deadline for achievement, but rather a checkpoint, a moment to reflect, grow, and continue building a meaningful life, not rushed.

Also Read: Raising children to be successful adults

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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