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7 ways to help your unemployed adult child

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It is never anyone’s dream to be living off of their parents when they are 30 years of age. Unfortunately, with the current economic times, jobs have become hard to come by. While it may be hard for parents to provide for a grown-up child, it is harder, especially for sons.

As a parent, there are several ways you can support your unemployed adult son or daughter as follows:

Show empathy

It is very easy as a parent to fly off the handle especially if your child has lost their job because of what you term as negligence. Before shouting at them, try to understand what they are going through. Most people fall into depression after losing their jobs, you reminding them how it is their fault does not help matters.

Open your doors

If you are in a position to host your adult son or daughter, welcome them back home instead of sending them money for rent and other expenses. While they are living with you, make sure you don’t nag them with questions of how their job search is going now and then.

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

Remember your child is an adult and treat them as one

It may be tempting to micromanage your adult son or daughter just because they are living with you. It would however do the two of you good if you let your child figure out the next phase of their lives by themselves. Trust that they are adult enough to make the best decisions for themselves.

Avoid helping where your help is not sought

As a parent, you may feel an overwhelming urge to help your child. Unfortunately, the help may not be welcome. In fact, at times, it may hurt your child’s pride and strain your relationship with them. Ensure that you ask if your child needs help before offering it. The same goes for advice.

SEE ALSO: Reverse parenting: Tips for parenting your parents

Encourage your child to do things that they enjoy

If your child is fresh out of college, not being able to secure employment can be devastating especially in light of the dreams they had while still in school. At this point, most people will lose interest in everything they ever enjoyed. Try and encourage your child to keep working on things they enjoy. You can also encourage them to find an internship or volunteer activities. These will keep them busy and equip them with important skills that will come in handy when they finally get a job.

Give them a loan

If the job search is not going too well and your child has a business idea, you can support them by loaning them the starting capital. Make it clear that what you are giving is a loan and not a gift. This is helpful especially if you have an overly dependent child. Otherwise, giving it as a loan encourages your child to work hard. It also lets them know that you still believe and trust in them as opposed to viewing them as a charity case.

Image: The Kenyan Wall Street

Help them network

You may know some places that could be hiring people with your child’s education and skills. If you do, it is a good idea to point your child in that direction and provide names where you can. However, ensure that you don’t make the application on behalf of your child. Prospective employers may interpret this to mean that your child lacks confidence and this will work against them in the long run.

Bottom line

It’s every parent’s joy to watch their children succeed and raise families of their own. However, things don’t always go as planned. If your adult child is not able to secure a job or they have lost their job, be supportive and help where you can without being too intrusive and overbearing.

Featured Image: news24.com

All my children work for me; Why & how I started NIBS college-Lizzie Wanyoike |Ask The Experts|
Lizzie Wanyoike, founder and CEO of NIBS Technical College and The Emory Hotel was awarded an honorary doctorate by the Breakthrough International Bible Univ…

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Cover Story

The joy of controlled freedom in parenting

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Parenting often revolves around setting boundaries and ensuring children follow rules. While discipline is essential, there is a hidden joy and power in saying “yes” to your child more often. Allowing controlled freedom can be a game-changer in fostering independence, confidence, and resilience in your child.

The Power of Yes

Saying “yes” doesn’t mean giving in to every whim or desire. Instead, it’s about choosing moments where your child can explore their world with freedom.

Whether it’s allowing them to choose their outfit for the day or letting them plan a family outing, these small moments of empowerment build self-esteem.

Building Confidence Through Freedom

Children thrive when they feel trusted. By saying “yes” to reasonable requests, you’re telling your child that you believe in their ability to make decisions.

This trust translates into confidence as they learn to navigate their choices, understanding the consequences and rewards that come with them.

Creating Safe Boundaries

While saying “yes” is powerful, it’s crucial to establish safe boundaries. These boundaries ensure that your child’s freedom doesn’t lead to harm.

For example, you might say, “Yes, you can play outside, but stay where I can see you.” This approach allows freedom within a safe framework, giving your child the space to grow while keeping them protected.

Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills

When you allow your child to make decisions, you’re also teaching them to solve problems. They learn to think critically about their choices, weighing options, and considering outcomes. This skill is invaluable, as it prepares them for real-world challenges.

The Lasting Impact

The simple act of saying “yes” more often can have a profound impact on your child’s development. It’s a way to show trust, build confidence, and encourage independence.

So next time your child asks for something, consider the power of “yes.” It might just be the best answer you give all day.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Cover Story

The joy of controlled freedom in parenting

Published

on

Parenting often revolves around setting boundaries and ensuring children follow rules. While discipline is essential, there is a hidden joy and power in saying “yes” to your child more often. Allowing controlled freedom can be a game-changer in fostering independence, confidence, and resilience in your child.

The Power of Yes

Saying “yes” doesn’t mean giving in to every whim or desire. Instead, it’s about choosing moments where your child can explore their world with freedom.

Whether it’s allowing them to choose their outfit for the day or letting them plan a family outing, these small moments of empowerment build self-esteem.

Building Confidence Through Freedom

Children thrive when they feel trusted. By saying “yes” to reasonable requests, you’re telling your child that you believe in their ability to make decisions.

This trust translates into confidence as they learn to navigate their choices, understanding the consequences and rewards that come with them.

Creating Safe Boundaries

While saying “yes” is powerful, it’s crucial to establish safe boundaries. These boundaries ensure that your child’s freedom doesn’t lead to harm.

For example, you might say, “Yes, you can play outside, but stay where I can see you.” This approach allows freedom within a safe framework, giving your child the space to grow while keeping them protected.

Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills

When you allow your child to make decisions, you’re also teaching them to solve problems. They learn to think critically about their choices, weighing options, and considering outcomes. This skill is invaluable, as it prepares them for real-world challenges.

The Lasting Impact

The simple act of saying “yes” more often can have a profound impact on your child’s development. It’s a way to show trust, build confidence, and encourage independence.

So next time your child asks for something, consider the power of “yes.” It might just be the best answer you give all day.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Lifestyle

Too Late for What? Finding Your Own Pace in a Fast-Paced World

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In today’s fast-paced world, success is no longer just an achievement; it has become a timeline. Many young people feel an invisible pressure to have their lives “figured out” before they turn 30, a stable job, financial independence, a clear career path, and in some cases, even marriage and children. But who set this deadline, and what happens to those who don’t meet it?

For many young adults, especially in urban settings, the pressure begins early. From school systems that prioritise academic excellence to families that celebrate early milestones, success is often framed as something that must be achieved quickly. Social media adds a layer of curated lifestyles of young entrepreneurs, influencers, and professionals who live what appears to be a perfect life. The comparison is constant and, for some, overwhelming.

Reality, however, is far less linear. Not everyone follows the same path. Some individuals take time to discover their passions, switch careers, or face setbacks that delay their progress. Yet, rather than being seen as part of growth, these delays are often viewed as failures. This perception can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and, in some cases, burnout as young people push themselves to meet expectations.

Parents play a significant role in shaping this narrative. While many have good intentions, wanting their children to succeed and be secure, the way success is communicated can sometimes add pressure. Saying things like “you need to be settled by now” or “your age mates are already ahead” can unintentionally create a sense of inadequacy. Instead of motivation, such statements may lead to fear-driven achievement.

Also Read: Parenting Progress for a Thoughtful Generation

It is also important to question what success truly means. For some, it is financial stability. For others, it may be personal fulfilment, career growth, or the ability to live independently. By narrowing success to a fixed timeline, society risks ignoring the diversity of individual journeys. A 28-year-old still exploring career options is not necessarily behind; they may be in a different phase of discovery.

Mental health is another critical factor often overlooked in this race. The pressure to be successful before 30 can lead to constant stress and comparison, making young people feel like they are always falling short. In extreme cases, this pressure can lead to depression or a sense of hopelessness, especially when achievements don’t come as quickly as expected.

So, what can parents and society do differently?

First, there is a need to define success beyond age. Success should be measured by growth, effort, and resilience, not just milestones achieved by a certain birthday. Encouragement should focus on progress rather than comparison. A child who is still figuring things out at 27 should be supported, not judged.

Second, open conversations are key. Parents should create safe spaces where children can talk about their struggles without fear of criticism. Understanding that life is not a straight path allows for more empathy and guidance rather than pressure.

Lastly, society must embrace the idea that everyone’s journey is different. Some people bloom early, others are late bloomers, and both are valid. Success is not a race with a fixed finish line, but a journey with many different routes.

Turning 30 should not feel like a deadline for achievement, but rather a checkpoint, a moment to reflect, grow, and continue building a meaningful life, not rushed.

Also Read: Raising children to be successful adults

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