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How to deal with in-laws over the holidays

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Holidays are usually best for families to meet and bond, for some, this time is their worst nightmare. Families come in all colours, shapes, sizes and personalities,  so we find ways to live together in peace.

In-laws can be fun, loving, respectful or nosy, sometimes even controlling. As a result, when holidays such as Christmas or Easter come around, they can be overwhelming. Having a few ways to help you deal with your in-laws during the festive season can be a lifesaver.

Spousal support

Photo by Gus Moretta / Unsplash

Let your spouse know how you feel about your in-laws from the very beginning, especially if they aren’t aware of their relatives’ off-putting behaviour. Avoid blaming your spouse  since they can’t choose their family.

Instead, get them to see it from your perspective without making them feel attacked or blamed. This will encourage them to stand by you and call them out when they do something that is out of line.

Be clear on the length of visit

Photo by ConvertKit / Unsplash

Just like a stay at a hotel, your guests should have a set day of leaving. Staying somewhere too long might lead someone to feel a bit too comfortable and that may cause problems.

For in-laws that are a bit difficult to deal with, let them stay for not more than a week. This will be easier for the host to plan a celebration that is less stressful and tedious.

Engaging activities

Photo by Peter Idowu / Unsplash

When a group of people come together, it is best to have some activities to keep them entertained and engaged.

Depending on the size of homeproperty and the group that is coming, the hosts can arrange for simple things such as games for kids, meat roasting for the young adults and a bonfire for the older generation.

Be mindful of the preferences and different needs of your guests. For instance, older people may want to sit and have conversations over a cup of tea. Therefore, ensure that there is a separate kids’ playing area-not too far from the adults in case of anything and not too close that they disrupt their conversation as they play

Sleeping arrangements

Photo by Christopher Jolly / Unsplash

Have a plan with your spouse about where the guests will sleep before the day. This involves knowing how many people are coming to be able to plan a hotel stay or have enough room in your house.

Communicate this to your guests beforehand so that they know that they are well taken care of and need to respect your decisions.

Set boundaries

Photo by Erin Larson / Unsplash

All relationships need respect and healthy boundaries, this is the only way people can be together in peace. In this case, you need to have both emotional and physical boundaries.

Some in-laws can be nosey. With this in mind, lock doors to rooms you don’t want guests to access. Deal with disrespectful guests outside, away from the rest of the family.

If this does not help, then ask them to kindly leave your home or endure it for the rest of the stay then make wiser decisions in the future.

How to deal with rejection from family members
Rejection hurts and it is enough to make anyone want to stop trying to live life to fulfillment. However, great men and women in history have shared their stories of rejection and how they rose from it. If they did it, so could you!

Last words…

Some of the tips given in this article may not be easy to implement. Nevertheless, this could be the difference between a chaotic Christmas gathering and a harmonious stay with your in-laws.

This October, Parents magazine brings you an exciting new issue that’s all about your health!
We talk to Professor Lukoye Atwoli and his wife, Maureen, as they tell us about their love, family and trying moments, including a cancer diagnosis. They also reveal their plans on addressing mental health-related issues in an enlightening read. Also read about Sharon King’ori who unknowingly shelte…

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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