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8 things you should NEVER say to a childless couple

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Getting pregnant can seem easy enough, especially when you have not walked in the shoes of someone that is childless and not by choice. As we mark the world childless week, which falls between September 13 and September 19, 2021, it is important to know what not to say when interacting with a childless couple.

Not having kids is selfish

Even for someone that has chosen to not have kids out of choice, this is an insensitive thing to say. Also, while it may seem better to try asking someone why they don’t have kids, please don’t go asking them that-unless they signal to you that it is okay to ask.

Have you tried…?

Women and even men that have struggled with childlessness have often recounted getting all manner of advice that was not requested. Chances are the couple has tried everything in their quest to have a baby. Moreover, unsolicited advice makes it seem like your childless friends have control over what is happening-like there is a solution and they just refuse to take it.

When is the child is coming?

There’s nothing as infuriating as having someone always looking at your belly and asking “not yet?” Do not assume that they don’t know they are not yet pregnant. Chances are they are already struggling to deal with childlessness. You constantly reminding them does not make things easier. Besides, it is none of your business!

SEE ALSO: Things you should never say to a pregnant woman

Life must be easy for you

Again, you have not walked in the shoes of a childless woman to know how easy or hard their life is. If you cannot think of anything else to say, silence is golden.

You won’t feel whole until you have kids

While having a child is important and is a dream for most women, there are plenty of other things that define a woman apart from motherhood. You have no business trying to make someone feel bad or lowly because they don’t have children.

You would have made such great parents

Don’t you think they already know that? Besides such a comment makes it seem like they are doomed and that the verdict is passed that they can never have children. Except, they can, no one knows for sure what the future holds.

Coping with childlessness While waiting on God
So, how did you meet? Ken: My campus choir – Maseno University Choir – was on a mission to theirschool, Koru Girls in Kisumu. Each time we stood to perform or their schoolchoir, which she was a part of, took to the podium we kept stealing glances ateach other. Editah: Then just like that it was…

I didn’t think you would want to come

Most people think that by not inviting their childless friends to their children’s parties, they are being considerate. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. No one likes to be left out and by failing to invite your childless couple friends, you most likely leave them feeling isolated. It’s better to invite them and have them decline than assume that they wouldn’t want to come.

Maybe it’s not meant to be

This is hurtful and may lead to self-blame, since the person may think that their childlessness is due to something they did or not did not do. This is also one of the things you should never say to someone who has suffered a miscarriage.

Bottom line…

Childlessness is a sensitive and difficult topic. When interacting with a childless couple, it is important to think of the implications of a statement before you make it. If you are not sure about something you want to say, wisdom dictates that you remain silent.

ENDOMETRIOSIS WARRIORS: PART 1- I GOT PUNISHED FOR HAVING EXTREMELY PAINFUL MENSTRUAL CRAMPS
Angie Njoroge’s story is one of many girls who are in extreme pain and more on their periods but are accused of attention-seeking, only to discover the real …

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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