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8 accessories to help you escape a humdrum sex life

After a while, sex tends to get boring. One way to re-ignite the spark in the bedroom is to invest in accessories.

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Accessories are a perfect way to make your bedroom life all the more interesting and satisfying. They not only allow couples to explore the different aspects of their sexuality in a safe environment, but also reduce lethargy and other issues that could otherwise kill your sex life. Here are some picks for you to try if you feel comfortable with them…

1. Fantasy books

Many people feel ashamed of their sexual fantasies. However, there is nothing to be ashamed of as everyone has them. Try and keep a book where you note down all your fantasies. You can then revisit them once in a while and explore some of them when boredom starts to creep in.

2. Sex toys

More and more couples have embraced sex toys in the bedroom. However, a significant number still shun the idea of sex toys either because they think it is immoral or emasculating. If you haven’t tried sex toys, it may be time to try them. They not only help couples explore and understand their bodies, but also help improve communication. You are more likely to communicate how you feel when engaging with your partner without the fear of hurting their ego or self-esteem when you use sex toys.

3. Costumes

Clothing during sex can be more than just something that provides easy access, but something that hints at what to expect. If you prefer a lot of pressure and friction in your play, try rocking jeans, which create more rub during humping and outercourse. If you want to avoid anything with huge zippers, studs, spikes, and belt buckles that could snag on skin or catch hair, you can opt for dresses, skirts, sweatpants, baggy bottoms, or leggings.

4. Massage candle

Whether you are alone or with a partner, massage candles allow you to create an intimate setting. They are also a great introductory accessory when beginning to explore bedroom toys. An erotic massage is also an ideal way to dive into some foreplay with your partner whether you are giving or receiving.

5. Wedge & ramp

Any sex expert will tell you that a few well-shaped and firm pillows can go a long way to solving positioning problems you and your partner might run into. The sex wedge has become popular in recent years and users swear by its effectiveness. So popular is its use that, Luvu brands, an American company came up with the Liberator wedge and ramp combo that enables users to try out different positions without worrying about discomfort and pain from awkward positioning.

6. Sexy couple cards

Sex card games are always a good idea. They help you loosen up, have fun, and get you in the mood for a sexy time. Playing sexy games also helps to explore your fantasies and raise the temperature between the sheets. Depending on your comfort level, there are many different games to choose from. Some involve special positions, role play, or even just creative foreplay ideas.

7. Blindfolds
When someone covers your eyes, you don’t know what will happen next and that excitement can make sex better. The idea of wearing a blindfold during sex helps partners explore their own bodies together without feeling self-conscious, which can help them enjoy the moment. Also, focusing on just hearing each other can be a turn-on.

8. Lubricant

Personal lubricant, or lube, helps prevent too much friction that may make sex uncomfortable or even painful, especially if you are experiencing vaginal dryness. Sex without lubricants is just satisfactory and, life is too short to have just satisfactory sex all your life. Lubricants for sex are like butter for bread. You can definitely have the toasted bread without the butter but if you apply butter the entire taste changes and becomes better. The same goes for having sex without using a lubricant.

After a while, sex tends to get boring. One way to re-ignite the spark in the bedroom is to invest in accessories like the ones discussed in this article.

 

This article was first published in December 2022 Issue:https://epaper.parentsafrica.com/issues/december-2022

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When Church Romance Crosses Boundaries: Gospel Singer’s Acid Attack Sparks Questions

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The harmonies of gospel singer Mary Clare’s music were abruptly silenced this week, not by choice, but by a horrific act of violence. The 24-year-old Redemption Ministers choir member is now fighting for her life at Kenyatta National Hospital after an acid attack that has shocked families, communities, and religious institutions alike.

This attack has drawn attention to the wider issue of gender-based violence and the role of institutions in protecting vulnerable members.

A Calculated Act

On Tuesday, while commuting along Ngong Road, Mary Clare was ambushed by a man allegedly linked to her estranged partner. Witnesses report the assailant doused her face and upper body with acid before being stopped by members of the public and handed over to police. She sustained severe third-degree burns requiring intensive care and reconstructive surgery, leaving both physical and emotional scars.

Background Context

It is alleged that Mary Clare had a relationship with the suspect, who is married. Reports indicate that after years of financial and emotional support, Mary Clare decided to move on to someone else. Questions are now being raised about whether the church was aware of the relationship and what oversight, if any, was exercised regarding boundaries between members.

Missed Warning Signs

Mary Clare’s ordeal was preceded by months of stalking and harassment. She had previously filed an assault complaint in November 2025, yet the suspect continued to operate within her church and social circles. Even after incidents involving firearms and public intimidation, no permanent protective measures were put in place.

Experts caution that this reflects a broader challenge in some institutions, where victims may not always receive sufficient protection even when risks are evident.

Accountability and Reflection

The Lighthouse Ministers have suspended the suspect, who was a choir member, drawing both relief and scrutiny from the public. Observers note that religious institutions can play a key role in safeguarding members and preventing abuse, while communities and authorities must also respond proactively to red flags.

A Broader Crisis

Mary Clare’s story is part of a wider gender-based violence epidemic in Kenya. According to the 2025 Technical Working Group on GBV, roughly one in three women has experienced physical violence since age 15. Acid attacks, as in this case, are particularly cruel, aiming to disfigure and silence victims, and represent a stark call to action for families, communities, and institutions alike.

Moving Forward

For Mary Clare, recovery will be long and challenging. For families and communities, her story is a reminder that protection cannot wait until tragedy strikes. Churches, communities, and policymakers must act decisively to safeguard women, break cycles of abuse, and ensure that spaces meant for support do not become arenas of danger.

Mary Clare’s fight is not just her own, it is a call for society to confront the silence that allows violence to continue.

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When Church Romance Crosses Boundaries: Gospel Singer’s Acid Attack Sparks Questions

Published

on

The harmonies of gospel singer Mary Clare’s music were abruptly silenced this week, not by choice, but by a horrific act of violence. The 24-year-old Redemption Ministers choir member is now fighting for her life at Kenyatta National Hospital after an acid attack that has shocked families, communities, and religious institutions alike.

This attack has drawn attention to the wider issue of gender-based violence and the role of institutions in protecting vulnerable members.

A Calculated Act

On Tuesday, while commuting along Ngong Road, Mary Clare was ambushed by a man allegedly linked to her estranged partner. Witnesses report the assailant doused her face and upper body with acid before being stopped by members of the public and handed over to police. She sustained severe third-degree burns requiring intensive care and reconstructive surgery, leaving both physical and emotional scars.

Background Context

It is alleged that Mary Clare had a relationship with the suspect, who is married. Reports indicate that after years of financial and emotional support, Mary Clare decided to move on to someone else. Questions are now being raised about whether the church was aware of the relationship and what oversight, if any, was exercised regarding boundaries between members.

Missed Warning Signs

Mary Clare’s ordeal was preceded by months of stalking and harassment. She had previously filed an assault complaint in November 2025, yet the suspect continued to operate within her church and social circles. Even after incidents involving firearms and public intimidation, no permanent protective measures were put in place.

Experts caution that this reflects a broader challenge in some institutions, where victims may not always receive sufficient protection even when risks are evident.

Accountability and Reflection

The Lighthouse Ministers have suspended the suspect, who was a choir member, drawing both relief and scrutiny from the public. Observers note that religious institutions can play a key role in safeguarding members and preventing abuse, while communities and authorities must also respond proactively to red flags.

A Broader Crisis

Mary Clare’s story is part of a wider gender-based violence epidemic in Kenya. According to the 2025 Technical Working Group on GBV, roughly one in three women has experienced physical violence since age 15. Acid attacks, as in this case, are particularly cruel, aiming to disfigure and silence victims, and represent a stark call to action for families, communities, and institutions alike.

Moving Forward

For Mary Clare, recovery will be long and challenging. For families and communities, her story is a reminder that protection cannot wait until tragedy strikes. Churches, communities, and policymakers must act decisively to safeguard women, break cycles of abuse, and ensure that spaces meant for support do not become arenas of danger.

Mary Clare’s fight is not just her own, it is a call for society to confront the silence that allows violence to continue.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Cover Story

Growing together: Strengthening bonds through shared learning

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Routine has a quiet way of settling in, wrapping itself around relationships until everything feels familiar, almost too familiar. Conversations begin to echo, plans repeat themselves, and what once felt exciting slowly drifts into predictability. Comfort is beautiful, yes, but left unchecked, it can blur into monotony.

Now imagine choosing differently; deciding, together, to break the pattern, to step beyond the usual and experience something unfamiliar side by side.

Okay, imagine signing up for a dance class, enrolling in a cooking workshop, or even starting to learn a new language. The simple act of being beginners together can spark a refreshing dynamic in your relationship and open doors to exciting possibilities.

The power of vulnerability

 

 

 

 

Learning a new skill isn’t just about mastering a craft or acquiring knowledge. It’s about embracing vulnerability.

When you tackle something new, you’re bound to make mistakes, stumble, and experience moments of doubt.

It’s in these moments that real connection happens. By supporting each other through frustration and celebrating even the smallest achievements, you learn to trust and depend on one another in ways that strengthen your bond.

Whether it’s laughing at a cooking disaster or getting lost in a new language together, the shared experiences of being imperfect build an emotional resilience that makes your connection deeper.

Building stronger bonds

 

Growing together isn’t just about improving your individual skills. It’s about growing as a unit. As you learn together, you begin to appreciate different aspects of each other.

Perhaps you admire how your partner or friend remains calm when facing a challenge, or how they encourage you even when you feel discouraged.

ALSO READ: Connection Rituals to Keep Love Alive Daily

Watching each other grow in different ways- whether it’s learning to play an instrument or mastering a new recipe-adds a new layer of admiration and respect.

These shared experiences make your relationship stronger and more resilient, turning what might have been a simple skill-building activity into an opportunity for mutual growth.

Fostering communication and patience

 

The process of learning new things together fosters invaluable communication.

As you navigate challenges and successes, you’ll discover more about each other’s thought processes, communication styles, and ways of handling setbacks.

It encourages open dialogue, whether you’re discussing how to improve a painting technique or negotiating the best way to divide tasks in a project.

Patience becomes an integral part of the journey as you both learn to support and understand one another’s needs. These moments of communication, cooperation, and patience not only help you grow individually but also create a solid foundation of trust and respect in your relationship.

A journey of shared growth

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In the end, it’s not just the skill you learn together that matters; it’s the memories and the emotional growth that come with it.

Years from now, you may not remember every step in your dance routine or how long it took to bake that perfect loaf of bread. But you’ll remember the laughter, the frustrations, and the joy of discovering something new side by side.

These moments of shared vulnerability and growth become the glue that binds relationships, giving you something solid to lean on through life’s ups and downs.

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Learning something new together reminds you that growth doesn’t just happen individually but when you face challenges, celebrate victories, and take the leap together. So the next time you find yourselves searching for a new experience, choose one that brings you closer. You may just find that the skill you learn is less important than the strength of your bond.

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