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7 signs you need relationship counselling

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Often times, couples are able to navigate the challenges that rock a relationship by themselves. However, there comes a time when you need to enlist help from a third party such as a counsellor. Which begs the question; when is the right time to seek help? Read on for the seven signs that it may be time for couple therapy.

Wh2en you are not on talking terms­: Many relationship issues stem from a breakdown of communication. When you and your partner can barely talk to each other save for when you need something from each other, it is definitely time to find a third party to help you resolve the underlying issues. Additionally, if all communication is negative or you are afraid of talking to your partner, it is imperative to see a counsellor before it escalates to emotional abuse or resentment which could spell doom for the relationship.

When affection is withdrawn as punishment: Sometimes the initial reaction after your partner has hurt you may be the urge to pay them back. Some people, therefore, resort to withholding affection by giving their partner the silent treatment, cutting back on words of affection or even refusing any kind of physical contact. On the flipside, some people detach themselves emotionally or physically from the relationship instead of addressing the issue at hand, leading to resentment.

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When your sex life has changed significantly often for the worse:You might have heard or used the phrase about being just roommates with your partner and frankly, it is not unusual for your sex life to taper after a while. However, when there is no sexual intimacy or sex with your partner is uncomfortable, things can go south pretty quick, especially if it was something that you two bonded over.

When you constantly argue over the same things: If all your arguments always circle back to that one thing, it may be time to seek reinforcements, also known as a relationship counsellor. They can help you break down your problems to get to the root cause of the argument. Furthermore, if you find that everything your partner does irritates you, find a counsellor because pent-up resentment eventually explodes leaving a path of destruction in its wake and your relationship will most likely take a hit.

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When there’s infidelity: Infidelity can take the form of emotional or physical cheating and it often escalates from emotional entanglements. If either of you find that they are constantly thinking about cheating, then it is time to seek help. If the underlying cause of the infidelity is not addressed, and in a proper setting such as couples’ therapy, it may recur and do even more damage to the relationship. As much as infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce, there are couples who opt to stay together afterwards and for this to happen, trust must be restored.

4 ways to respond to silent treatment after arguments
Being on the receiving end is usually frustrating and one may get the pressure of a response as to why their partner is behaving in such a way

When there has been a major life change: Changes such as the death of a loved one, job loss, big move or any traumatic experience may cause problems in the relationship especially if one or both of you do not find the right coping mechanisms. Several studies, for instance, show that a lot of relationships do not survive a chronic diagnosis or the death of a child. Other couples also find that their relationship breaks down if there are complications in childbearing. Whenever something like this happens, the best action to take is to seek help from a counsellor before irreversible damage is done.

Benefits of couples’ therapy: It is normal for you to feel apprehensive about opening up to someone who is essentially a stranger about your relationship woes. However, a counsellor offers a much-needed unbiased look into your problems. They also give you an opportunity to speak openly to your partner, help you deal with the differences and give support in case of psychological illness. The result of this is reduced stress, a stronger bond and improved communication.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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