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5 types of in-laws we all have and how to deal with them

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Once you say “I DO”  you become part of a new family altogether. So, not only would you have to adjust yourself with your new spouse, but you should also try to build a good relationship with your new family at least.

However, sometimes you find yourself clashing with your in-law(s). If this is you, here are a five tips that will work like a charm. These tips will help you handle toxic in-laws in a positive and healthy way.

Type #1: Controlling in-laws

One of the classic scenarios of controlling in-laws is where your mother-in-law wants to be the one in charge of your marriage(or even the wedding), instead of you and your husband. This type of in-law would be constantly telling you what to do and not to do.

For such a case, you and your spouse need to have a united front and be on the same page about how to handle the overbearing figure. Take time together to find the root of the problem. When you have figured out the reasons behind this kind of behaviour, discuss with your husband and help him understand that the two of you should lead your marriage together.

Create a united front with your spouse and forget about having their approval on every little thing. This way, your in-laws can see who’s in control in your marriage.

Never do these things when arguing with your partner
Arguments are bound to arise in all kinds of relationships due to mundane orsubstantial reasons. In fact, relationship experts suggest that lack orarguments in a relationship could point to a problem such as disconnectedpartners. However, arguments could just as easily be bad for your relationshi…

Type #2 The overbearing in-laws

This kind are always too involved in your marriage life. Granted, having a solid support system is nice, but not if they turned out to be intruding and interfering in your personal issues that are none of their concern. We all know how irritating that can be.

To deal with this, you and your partner should try to keep any personal issue out of your in-laws’ knowledge if you don’t want them to meddle in it.

For starters, don’t fight or flaunt your problems in front of them. Furthermore, don’t snitch or complain about your spouse’s annoying habits to them. And most importantly, be firm and  don’t be afraid say no to unsolicited advice. You can say thanks or simply nod and tell them you’ll consider it to keep the peace.

Type #3: The Nosy ones

These type of in-laws will come to your house unannounced, snoop on your private conversation or even nonchalantly take a peek into confidential emails or letters. They are curious about what you cooked to who you are talking to, akin to private detectives.

While we may want to be closely-knit and transparent with our in-laws,it obviously doesn’t mean  sharing every personal or intimate detail in your marriage to your in-laws, or other people you don’t feel comfortable with.

Set boundaries and be firm but nice about them.

SEE ALSO: How to deal with boredom in marriage

Type #4 The Dramatic and over sensitive kind

Be prepared to have some in-laws with the tendencies for being melodramatic, making exaggerated stories or constantly being offended by every little thing that you do or say, you might just land a role in this new episode of family drama.

When faced with problematic in-laws who have the knack for acting out emotionally and turning you into the antagonist, you better pick your battles. If you react with the same hysterical note as they did, you will be dealing with this kind of problem for the rest of your marriage. If the topic of their drama is simply fabricated or irrelevant, simply walk away, ignore them or respond honestly.

7 signs you need relationship counselling
When is the right time to seek help?

Type #5 Manipulative in-laws

This is the worst kind of toxic in-law because instead of being supportive of your marriage will try to make you and your spouse turn against each other.  They will also plot and manipulate their way into their kids’, brothers or cousins marriage! Some might ask their kids to pick a side, between their parents or their spouse, which is totally unfair.

The trick is not to take the bait. learn your spouse well enough so that you do not to fall into these domestic traps. Recognise the patterns, listen to your instinct, and avoid trusting their words instantly

Dealing with in-laws can be taxing with its ups and downs .Whichever the case, always remember, they are not always gonna like you no matter how good of a person you are,. Therefore,  stop trying to change them, make sure you and your spouse are on the same page and lastly, stand firm in your values.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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