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5 Clear signs it’s time to leave a marriage

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We all get into marriage hoping it will work out and only death will do us part. Unfortunately, things do not always go as planned and certain occurrences lead to the end of many relationships. You can attempt to hold on to your marriage but if staying is causing you pain and suffering, you need to quit. Here are behaviours that may indicate it is time to pack and leave.

Physical abuse

Men have for a long time been considered the main predators, however, in today’s world, women are also playing the role. You may or may not be able to notice the signs that your partner is capable of physically hurting you until it is too late. Your partner will make excuses as to why they attempted or actually hurt you and you might consider forgiving; but you need to understand that physical abuse is dangerous. It will consequently result in long lasting effects like depression and anxiety, where you are in a constant state of nervousness and worry wondering what your spouse might do to you next.

Emotional and verbal abuse

Verbal abuse includes frequent anger, rage, blame, sarcasm, criticism, judgment, threats and other abusive means of undermining and controlling you. Verbal abuse eventually leads to emotional abuse because words largely affect self-esteem and self-worth. You will begin thinking that the negative things your spouse says about you are true and you suddenly do not love yourself or feel the need to change into what you think they would prefer you to be. You should leave that relationship if your abusive partner is not willing to attend therapy because they are unwilling to learn, grow and heal.

Child abuse

Fighting for the well-being of your children should never be up for discussion; you must fight for it no matter the consequences. It is crucial that children are not raised in a hostile environment, as this will affect them psychologically. If you find out that your partner is abusing your children, could be physically, sexually or emotionally, you have to end that relationship immediately. Report the abuse to the relevant authorities and ensure that your children receive the necessary care they need to heal.

Infidelity

Many people choose to forgive infidelity because a lot of healing can occur if you are both open to learning new things about yourselves in the process. Others choose to forgive just to avoid the consequences of splitting up such as losing homes or negative effects on children. However, your spouse may be unfaithful to you again and again; in this case you must consider leaving. It is probable that your partner is struggling with sex addiction, which may cause many problems in the relationship. Your unfaithful partner can get infected with sexually transmitted infections (STIs) from having many sexual partners and you could get infected in the process.

Substance addiction

Your partner could be addicted to drugs, alcohol or other substances; this could lead to self-harm and they may harm you or your children. It indicates a deep level of self-abandonment, and refusal to attempt to get better by going through rehabilitation programmes is a clear sign that your partner is not likely to change. As a loving partner, you could be enabling your partner by providing the environment your partner needs to carry on with these bad habits and in this case you are part of the problem. Do not allow your partner to lose himself or herself because they know you will take care of them. It will cause a strain in your relationship and signal imminent separation.

You should not feel unworthy of love and happiness after these experiences; but you need to heal fully before getting into another romantic relationship, therefore give yourself time to do so.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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