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4 useful conversation tips for your first date

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By Sarah Kutahi

As a social being, you will likely find yourself going on several dates before you eventually decide how you want to lead your romantic life. Unfortunately, first dates can go awfully wrong mainly due to the things that come up in conversation. To save you from the embarrassment and hurt of a data gone wrong, here are some helpful conversation tips, including what you should and should not discuss on a first date.

Keep your ex out of your mouth at all costs

You will be tempted to bring up your previous affair with the hope that you can highlight what you prefer in a relationship. Unfortunately, that makes it seem like you are still stuck in the past and, therefore, will be a problematic partner in this new relationship. Such talks are likely to put off any interested parties. Instead, it would help if you talked about your dating goals and maybe brush over your previous dating life.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash

Keep off the sex talk

If it is a date, then it’s not the place to discuss your sexual urges and preferences, especially if it seems like the other person is interested in establishing a relationship. Blatant sex talk may scare your date away. Instead, talk about what you wish to get out of the relationship.

This is not to say that this topic is not essential. In fact, discussions about sex should be the first thing you talk about if you decide to go on a second date. This is when you establish whether they are into anything you won’t be able to participate in or whether there is a possibility of a mismatch.

Photo by Kristina Flour / Unsplash

How to effectively communicate with your partner after a conflict
Communication will always be key when solving any conflict that might arise in a relationship or even marriage.

Try to establish similarities

First dates are usually great for putting your best foot forward and studying what the other person also brings to the table. During your interaction try to establish the things about you that are similar like your preferences in a partner, your love language and maybe educational and career background. This presents a good opportunity to establish how the two of you will complement each other if you decide to move forward with the relationship.

Photo by Tolga Ulkan / Unsplash

Learn their personality

Remember the various personality types? Well, put that information to good use. The thing to note is personality types influence a lot about an individual. They  influence their decision-making, energy levels, and even the things they enjoy. Therefore, make sure you understand these things and whether they appeal to your own personality. You may think that this information is insignificant but it matters very much because it will affect your relationship in one way or the other.

Photo by Tolga Ulkan / Unsplash

First dates are usually feel-good moments that should be utilised to enjoy your new company. Save the serious stuff for later when the relationship starts to unfold thus allowing you to go on more dates where you can learn more about each other.

 

The edition that celebrates fathers!
Commentator extraordinaire, Hassan Mwana Wa Ali graces our cover with his wife and son in our June issue. He takes us through his 10-year journey in the media industry, marriage life and his heart’s desire to mentor young people.

 

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When Church Romance Crosses Boundaries: Gospel Singer’s Acid Attack Sparks Questions

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The harmonies of gospel singer Mary Clare’s music were abruptly silenced this week, not by choice, but by a horrific act of violence. The 24-year-old Redemption Ministers choir member is now fighting for her life at Kenyatta National Hospital after an acid attack that has shocked families, communities, and religious institutions alike.

This attack has drawn attention to the wider issue of gender-based violence and the role of institutions in protecting vulnerable members.

A Calculated Act

On Tuesday, while commuting along Ngong Road, Mary Clare was ambushed by a man allegedly linked to her estranged partner. Witnesses report the assailant doused her face and upper body with acid before being stopped by members of the public and handed over to police. She sustained severe third-degree burns requiring intensive care and reconstructive surgery, leaving both physical and emotional scars.

Background Context

It is alleged that Mary Clare had a relationship with the suspect, who is married. Reports indicate that after years of financial and emotional support, Mary Clare decided to move on to someone else. Questions are now being raised about whether the church was aware of the relationship and what oversight, if any, was exercised regarding boundaries between members.

Missed Warning Signs

Mary Clare’s ordeal was preceded by months of stalking and harassment. She had previously filed an assault complaint in November 2025, yet the suspect continued to operate within her church and social circles. Even after incidents involving firearms and public intimidation, no permanent protective measures were put in place.

Experts caution that this reflects a broader challenge in some institutions, where victims may not always receive sufficient protection even when risks are evident.

Accountability and Reflection

The Lighthouse Ministers have suspended the suspect, who was a choir member, drawing both relief and scrutiny from the public. Observers note that religious institutions can play a key role in safeguarding members and preventing abuse, while communities and authorities must also respond proactively to red flags.

A Broader Crisis

Mary Clare’s story is part of a wider gender-based violence epidemic in Kenya. According to the 2025 Technical Working Group on GBV, roughly one in three women has experienced physical violence since age 15. Acid attacks, as in this case, are particularly cruel, aiming to disfigure and silence victims, and represent a stark call to action for families, communities, and institutions alike.

Moving Forward

For Mary Clare, recovery will be long and challenging. For families and communities, her story is a reminder that protection cannot wait until tragedy strikes. Churches, communities, and policymakers must act decisively to safeguard women, break cycles of abuse, and ensure that spaces meant for support do not become arenas of danger.

Mary Clare’s fight is not just her own, it is a call for society to confront the silence that allows violence to continue.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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When Church Romance Crosses Boundaries: Gospel Singer’s Acid Attack Sparks Questions

Published

on

The harmonies of gospel singer Mary Clare’s music were abruptly silenced this week, not by choice, but by a horrific act of violence. The 24-year-old Redemption Ministers choir member is now fighting for her life at Kenyatta National Hospital after an acid attack that has shocked families, communities, and religious institutions alike.

This attack has drawn attention to the wider issue of gender-based violence and the role of institutions in protecting vulnerable members.

A Calculated Act

On Tuesday, while commuting along Ngong Road, Mary Clare was ambushed by a man allegedly linked to her estranged partner. Witnesses report the assailant doused her face and upper body with acid before being stopped by members of the public and handed over to police. She sustained severe third-degree burns requiring intensive care and reconstructive surgery, leaving both physical and emotional scars.

Background Context

It is alleged that Mary Clare had a relationship with the suspect, who is married. Reports indicate that after years of financial and emotional support, Mary Clare decided to move on to someone else. Questions are now being raised about whether the church was aware of the relationship and what oversight, if any, was exercised regarding boundaries between members.

Missed Warning Signs

Mary Clare’s ordeal was preceded by months of stalking and harassment. She had previously filed an assault complaint in November 2025, yet the suspect continued to operate within her church and social circles. Even after incidents involving firearms and public intimidation, no permanent protective measures were put in place.

Experts caution that this reflects a broader challenge in some institutions, where victims may not always receive sufficient protection even when risks are evident.

Accountability and Reflection

The Lighthouse Ministers have suspended the suspect, who was a choir member, drawing both relief and scrutiny from the public. Observers note that religious institutions can play a key role in safeguarding members and preventing abuse, while communities and authorities must also respond proactively to red flags.

A Broader Crisis

Mary Clare’s story is part of a wider gender-based violence epidemic in Kenya. According to the 2025 Technical Working Group on GBV, roughly one in three women has experienced physical violence since age 15. Acid attacks, as in this case, are particularly cruel, aiming to disfigure and silence victims, and represent a stark call to action for families, communities, and institutions alike.

Moving Forward

For Mary Clare, recovery will be long and challenging. For families and communities, her story is a reminder that protection cannot wait until tragedy strikes. Churches, communities, and policymakers must act decisively to safeguard women, break cycles of abuse, and ensure that spaces meant for support do not become arenas of danger.

Mary Clare’s fight is not just her own, it is a call for society to confront the silence that allows violence to continue.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Growing together: Strengthening bonds through shared learning

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Routine has a quiet way of settling in, wrapping itself around relationships until everything feels familiar, almost too familiar. Conversations begin to echo, plans repeat themselves, and what once felt exciting slowly drifts into predictability. Comfort is beautiful, yes, but left unchecked, it can blur into monotony.

Now imagine choosing differently; deciding, together, to break the pattern, to step beyond the usual and experience something unfamiliar side by side.

Okay, imagine signing up for a dance class, enrolling in a cooking workshop, or even starting to learn a new language. The simple act of being beginners together can spark a refreshing dynamic in your relationship and open doors to exciting possibilities.

The power of vulnerability

 

 

 

 

Learning a new skill isn’t just about mastering a craft or acquiring knowledge. It’s about embracing vulnerability.

When you tackle something new, you’re bound to make mistakes, stumble, and experience moments of doubt.

It’s in these moments that real connection happens. By supporting each other through frustration and celebrating even the smallest achievements, you learn to trust and depend on one another in ways that strengthen your bond.

Whether it’s laughing at a cooking disaster or getting lost in a new language together, the shared experiences of being imperfect build an emotional resilience that makes your connection deeper.

Building stronger bonds

 

Growing together isn’t just about improving your individual skills. It’s about growing as a unit. As you learn together, you begin to appreciate different aspects of each other.

Perhaps you admire how your partner or friend remains calm when facing a challenge, or how they encourage you even when you feel discouraged.

ALSO READ: Connection Rituals to Keep Love Alive Daily

Watching each other grow in different ways- whether it’s learning to play an instrument or mastering a new recipe-adds a new layer of admiration and respect.

These shared experiences make your relationship stronger and more resilient, turning what might have been a simple skill-building activity into an opportunity for mutual growth.

Fostering communication and patience

 

The process of learning new things together fosters invaluable communication.

As you navigate challenges and successes, you’ll discover more about each other’s thought processes, communication styles, and ways of handling setbacks.

It encourages open dialogue, whether you’re discussing how to improve a painting technique or negotiating the best way to divide tasks in a project.

Patience becomes an integral part of the journey as you both learn to support and understand one another’s needs. These moments of communication, cooperation, and patience not only help you grow individually but also create a solid foundation of trust and respect in your relationship.

A journey of shared growth

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In the end, it’s not just the skill you learn together that matters; it’s the memories and the emotional growth that come with it.

Years from now, you may not remember every step in your dance routine or how long it took to bake that perfect loaf of bread. But you’ll remember the laughter, the frustrations, and the joy of discovering something new side by side.

These moments of shared vulnerability and growth become the glue that binds relationships, giving you something solid to lean on through life’s ups and downs.

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Learning something new together reminds you that growth doesn’t just happen individually but when you face challenges, celebrate victories, and take the leap together. So the next time you find yourselves searching for a new experience, choose one that brings you closer. You may just find that the skill you learn is less important than the strength of your bond.

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