For many of us, the first sexual experience we had was from the movies, the Mills and Boons novels and from our peers, who were as ignorant as we were on matters sex; talk of a blind person leading the other. Huh! While some of the information was true, others were as false as they come, hence we have been banging without getting the facts right. But we’ve had enough of these old wives’ tales. Here are 15 sex myths masquerading as truths that need to go now!

Myth 1:Men want sex 24 hours a day, seven days a week

Nothing could be further from the truth. For God’s sake, they are human beings with hormones which at times act on their mood swings that they are not interested in anything, sex included. Furthermore, today’s man is weighed down by thoughts of being successful and finances that he has relatively little time to think about sex. So, relax lady, you will realise that at times you will be the one begging for sex and its not because he doesn’t want you; he is just not in he mood and it is okay. Better still; use your God-given prowess to get him in the mood.

Myth 2: Women are not interested in sex

Whoever came up with this ridiculous myth did women a great disservice and we are sure they (women) have a bone to pick with you. We have said it here time and again, and we will say it again: women love sex as much as men do. There may be several factors that may make a woman disinterested in sex such as demands of children and work but that does not mean she does not want sex. Asking for sex when she is busy changing the baby’s diaper is not only inconsiderable, but also dumb. As a partner, you need to know when your woman is primed for sexual activity and take advantage. Keep in mind that a sexually satisfied woman is a happy, loving woman.

Myth 3: The bigger, the better

Fortunately, for both men and women, this is not true. If you are a man and you constantly compare the size of your penis to the performers in the X-rated movies or other men in changing rooms, then you will never be able to shed off the insecurity and it will affect your performance in bed. Do not feel disgusted with yourself over your penis size; concentrate more on mastering the art of using it and you will be home and dry.

Myth 4: Condoms take away the pleasure

Ladies, let no man cheat you; condoms don’t take away the fun out of sex. You can have as much pleasure with a condom as you would without it. The onus is upon the man to find the correct condom size and voila! You wouldn’t even know it is there. In this day and age of increased sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy, you don’t want to take any chances. Play it safe.

Myth 5: Yuck! I can’t swallow that

Unless the man producing the semen has a sexually transmitted disease, you have nothing to worry about both for your weight (some people think semen is high in calories) and health. In actual fact, the mouth is filled with far more bacteria that the semen since most ejaculate is sterile. However, if you are not sure about your partner’s status, use a condom as the only thing oral sex prevents is pregnancy.

Myth 6: I won’t get pregnant if he pulls out

If you are not ready to stay up late with a wailing baby not to mention the emotional and financial obligation that come with it, don’t try this at home. Withdrawal is not an effective method of preventing pregnancy as it takes the slightest drop of the ejaculated fluid to initiate a pregnancy. If your biggest fear is pregnancy, then your best bet would be the pill or condom.

Myth 7: The longer the sex, the better

A mantra in sex goes: quality is key over quantity. You can have sex the whole day and have the worst sex ever. You can have one for a minute and be in seventh heaven the whole time. What matters most is that you and your partner are satisfied; and that is the whole point of sex.

Myth 8: It’s going to be like in the movie

So you are watching a movie with your partner and the sex scene fires up both of you. You quickly pause the movie and duck in for a quickie hoping to replay the sex scene but it doesn’t actually happen the way you expected – and it won’t. Please stop anticipating sex to be exactly like what you watch in the movies, or read in novels. Personalise the sexual experience between you and your partner and get the most out of it. Who knows, you could actually be doing better than what is in the movie only that you have placed your yardstick in line with what you watch.

Myth 9: Some people are born geniuses at sex

Hearing about the sexual exploits of a friend or co-worker might make you believe that some people are predisposed to be sex gods. This might make you look down on yourself and resign to fate on matters sex. But this is not true; no research has proven that sexual prowess is handed down from one generation to another. It is a learning curve for everyone and the best we can do is to practice more (you read that right); after all, doesn’t practice make perfect?

It’s only on TV that two lovers meet, sparks fly everywhere and mind-blowing lovemaking ensues. In reality, sex needs to be worked on and the mind and body primed for sexual activity; well, unless it is a quickie.

Myth 10: She can’t get pregnant if she is on her menses

Yes, as revolting as this might sound, there are people who have sex when their partner is on their periods. One of the reasons why they prefer it this way is because they believe that scientifically, the chances of a woman getting pregnant during her menses is next to zero. But the human body is unpredictable and there are chances of accidental fertilisation. In addition, the sperm can survive in the reproductive tract for a few days hence pregnancy can occur. And if you’re the suspicious type, your lady will have a hard time explaining how she got pregnant. But now you know, don’t, you?

Myth 11: If she isn’t moaning, she isn’t enjoying it

Worst myth ever. It has even made women fake moaning and unnecessarily make noises that wake up their neighbours. As a woman, don’t feel pressured to mimic his favourite porn star and as a man, have faith that you are doing the right thing and she is actually enjoying it. Furthermore, the woman might be so engrossed in moaning that she forgets to enjoy sex.

Myth 12: Children suck out the sex in marriage

We get it; who wants sex after three hours of chasing around a young one? Or after staying up the whole night because the little one wouldn’t just sleep? But it needn’t be this way. As a couple, you need to take breaks from looking after the baby for self-care. Look for help so that you and your spouse can go out on a date or spend sometime together to keep the fire blazing. Additionally, take a short run or exercise to keep your energy levels up and to be in touch with your body urges.

Myth 13: Sex is much better when you are young

Sure, sex might be faster and more athletic when you are young but this does not mean it gets dull as age catches up with you. In fact, older adults will tell you that sex does get better with age as you get to enjoy a satisfying and emotionally rewarding sex. This is because there is more focus on sensuality, creativity and connectivity and less focus on quick orgasms.

Myth 14: Women are naturally monogamous

You wish! Women’s body and personality are just as suited as their male counterparts for multiple partners – maybe more than men’s. However, women are socialised, and heavily so, to restrict sexual attraction to one man at a time.  Close to this myth is the fallacy that men prefer casual sex to commitment. Sure, there are some men who want a fling and no ring just as there are women who aren’t looking for their prince charming but it doesn’t mean all men are just looking for a quick roll in the grass.

Myth 15: Women fake orgasms

Oh please! This is a lie peddled by men who are not sure about their performance in bed. True, there are women who fake orgasms for various reasons but if you are doing it right, you needn’t worry whether she is faking it or not.

Published June 2015